What They Feel and What They Fear
by Semajohn
Summary: One-shot. They are so close, and yet so far from each other. Sometime after "Today is the Day part 2". Slight Jameron.


**What They Feel and What They Fear. **

* * *

**Sometime after "Today is the Day part 2"**

The quiet rain was knocking at the window.

Cameron stood motionless near the window, she was looking through it, studying the cloudy weather. She closely monitored every potential threat, and intently watched every person who was passing by their doors.

John was looking at her from the doorway. How long she was ready just to stand like that? Probably, forever. Until the energy in her power cell would end.

Something in her attracted him. Not only her luxury beauty – such girls were few and far between, and you wouldn't pass by, if you meet someone beautiful like her. But John was attracted with something _inside_ her. With something... something really incredible and amazing...

John decided to start their conversation:

"Cam..." he called her quietly.

She didn't respond. She just continued to stare out of the window. What, did she cut off all her systems? But what then a protector of her?..

"Cameron," John called her a little bit louder. _Not __enough yet __to __mom __came __here..._

But she again didn't respond. She just stood there and stared through the window.

_Stop.__ I don't like this__. __What's going on __here?_

"Cameron!" John called her even louder, with some misunderstanding and slight fear.

Her head jerked. She turned to face him, and John was taken aback. She looked the same, absolutely the same as she had been in the day when she had chased them throughout the LA. When she had turned against them, when she had gone bad. The same scars. The same look. The same outfit.

John only now noticed the gun in her hands. She lifted it and aimed at him. There was no life in her eyes. Not a drop. Only murder.

"I am sorry, John," she said coldly. And then she shot...

* * *

...and John abruptly opened his eyes. Then got up on the bed. The sweat dripped slowly down his face. He was breathing heavily.

Suddenly there was the knock at the door.

"John," it was Cameron's voice.

John shivered. Nonetheless, he had fallen asleep in the clothes, and it still was on him, so he could let her in.

"It's open," he said.

She went inside. There was no scars, no cuts. Different clothing. Another look. _It was just the __nightmare_... John shook his head slightly. She look different, and was so… beautiful.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

For a brief moment, he looked at her face. There was not a drop of anger or desire to kill in her eyes. She was so beautiful, so calm and so caring right now… _It was just the __nightmare. __How can she __kill me?.._ John thought.

He again shook his head.

"I'm... I'm all right," he smiled nervously. "I'm fine."

He closed his eyes and tried to fight off the image of bad Cameron in his head.

_It was just the __nightmare._

"Are you sure?" With genuine concern she asked. "I heard your slight shriek."

John opened his eyes, and with a touch of surprise looked at her. No, he heard it right. She said it with care, with genuine concern. In her eyes, in which the life was playing so rarely - there was caring. She not just wanted to protect him. She wanted him to feel good. If the machine could ever want something, in what John doubted every time he thought of her, and sometimes he could convince himself. But sometimes...

He smiled again, this time with fast, but calm smile.

"Yeah, sure," said John. "It's okay. Thank you for your care."

Cameron for a few seconds just stood there motionless, staring at him. On her HUD suddenly, for a few seconds, appeared the command to terminate John Connor, but Cameron overcame it. As she struggled with this command since the moment when she woke up in thermit, in the collapsed car, after having pursued Sarah and John Connor throughout the LA.

And then she just smiled at him briefly. Then she turned and left the room. And gently closed the door behind her.

John, in a shock, was just staring at the closed door in front of him.

_No, __it was just the __nightmare. __Cameron __can't betray__. She __will never fail.__ Let her be not perfect__, __but she will never __betray._

He leaned back on the bed, and ran his hands over his face. _How can she __kill me? __She's... she's so..._

He closed his eyes.

_No, __she won't __kill me. __Never. __That will never happen__. __I trust her__._

Cameron went to her room, but as usual she didn't close the door. It was already night. Everyone in the house was asleep. Just sometimes Sarah could go to the kitchen, for a glass of milk, or something stronger.

Cameron looked out of the window and evaluated the threats, and were there any threats at all. However, all was clear. No one was passing by. No one was trying to break to them. Even pets weren't hanging out here now.

However, what Cameron didn't say to John that she heard not only his shriek. She had been walking down the hall when she heard his voice from his room. He had called her. He had called her name. He had called her Cam. Cameron clearly heard, how he had been calling her, at first with tenderness, and then with some fear and horror.

He was afraid of her? Could he had a dream how she killed him? _No, I__'ll never betray __John Connor. __Never._

But she was afraid to confess to him. She was afraid that when says these cherished words, John just wouldn't take her seriously. Just as John was afraid to admit to himself that Cameron wasn't just a machine, and often her behavioral couldn't be described just by programming.

Endless game of hide and seek. And the whole truth lied in so simple words that they knew, but were afraid to admit.

I love you, John, and you love me.


End file.
